


What You Wanted Me To Do.

by Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M, I warned you., Jax is a dick, Orphaned baby, Sorry Not Sorry, Suicide, Suicide Notes, This is fucking sad.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 13:46:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8330134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter/pseuds/Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter
Summary: Jax breaks your heart, when you move on he is livid because it is with someone who he never imagined.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! <3

I was blindsided when Half-Sack- Kip as he had been to me died, was killed, however you want to say it. He was gone leaving his girlfriend, my pregnant sister alone, she was only living for that baby and everyone knew it. Once she gave birth I was afraid of what would happen, she had never been the most stable person, but I wasn't alone. Jax would help me keep her in check, make sure she didn't do anything dangerous. I had asked her to move in with me after Kip died and that was going well, we had a routine down. I'd make her breakfast and wake her up before I left for work and I would drop her at the clubhouse where Gemma would keep an eye on her. She worked at TM as a receptionist of sorts, really it was just easier to stick her there while I worked at the club down town, I was a dancer and sometimes singer. It wasn't always fun but I made good tips and I didn't have to get totally naked so it worked well. I saw Opie waiting for me in the parking lot after I got off work and I frowned, usually Jax came to get me himself.  
"Hi Opie. Where's Jax?" He gave me a hug as he answered.  
"Your sister wanted to talk with him." He told me and I grimaced.  
"Great, I know what she wanted to say to him too." He gave a matching grimace and I climbed on the bike behind him. He drove to TM, weaving in and out of traffic, he was slightly reckless but I never minded it. Ope was my best friend and he knew me as well as I knew myself. We walked into TM and I saw a very uncomfortable looking Jax talking with my sister, he looked up and I saw him sigh in relief.  
"Hey Ash." I called out to her as I gave her a hug.  
"Hey Y/N." She said in a dull voice and I sighed internally, she was down today. Again, they were getting worse and her bad periods were getting longer the farther along she got. She was eight months now and it was hard for her, I wish that I could do more for her.  
"How was your day?" I asked her as Jax tugged me onto his lap.  
"Fine, I was just telling Jax that I wouldn't always be here to take care of you, so he had to promise me that he would."  
"You don't have to worry about that, I can take care of myself." I told her with a frown.  
"You have had so much bad Y/N, you need some happy and he seems to give you that. I'd hate to see it get ripped from you." She gave him a look and I took her hand in mine.  
"Ash, sissy, you don't need to worry about that. Worry about my little niece in there huh?" I nodded at her belly and she just nodded. I took her home after a while and made us some dinner. We talked for a little while and then I tucked her into bed, I called Jax after I made sure she was asleep.  
"Hey babe." He answered.  
"Hey, I am so sorry. Ash was a little out of line." He chuckled and I smiled softly.  
"Nothing to worry about, she loves you."  
"I know, but still that was a heavy conversation."  
"It's fine, I hope I reassured her."  
"I'm sure you did."  
"Are you working tomorrow?"  
"Yeah, all day again."  
"Well get some rest, I'll see you tomorrow." We said our goodbyes and I went to bed. Life was normal, well normal for me anyway, for a few weeks until I got a call at work. My sister was in labor and heading to the hospital. I ran out of the club so fast that I almost forgot to grab my jacket, that would have caused a stir. I made it to Saint Thomas in record time and told the nurse at the front desk who I was looking for. I found my sister in minutes and smiled when I saw Jax and Opie with her.  
"Hey sissy!" She cried out and I was surprised at the cheery tone in her voice.  
"Hi Ash."  
"Epidural" Opie muttered and I nodded. Oh.  
"What do we know?" I asked her and she gave me a small smile.  
"It's almost time to push, baby girl wants to come out now." She was looped out of her mind and I smiled as she gripped my hand. "Ow ow!" She cried out as another contraction hit her. The nurse came in awhile later and examined her again, it was time to push, Jax and Opie left in a hurry with a 'good luck' thrown over their shoulders. I have to hand it to my sister, she was a champ and I was really proud of her. She pushed her eight pound baby out three hours later and I had never seen anything more beautiful, gross, but beautiful. I looked on in awe as she held her baby for the first time and she looked up to smiled at me. "You wanna hold your niece auntie?" I grinned and nodded as my sister handed me my niece for the first time. She was beautiful, soft brown hair, blue eyes and her eyes looked up at me like the universe revolved around me. That's the way with babies, they think that the person holding them is the sun.  
"Hi pretty girl." I murmured to her and Ash spoke.  
"Madelyn."  
"Hm?" I asked her  
"Madelyn Ember Epps." She told me and I smiled at her.  
"That's a beautiful name, where did that come from?"  
"Kip picked it. H-he really liked it." I saw her eyes fill up but she shook her head and I walked closer to her.  
"He would be here if he could Ash, I'm sorry that he isn't but you aren't alone. Don't be sad, be happy that you have a healthy little girl who loves you." She nodded and I handed her back her baby.  
"I wish that you weren't so involved with the club Y/N. It ruined a huge part of me and I don't want that for you." I frowned at her.  
"I'm not involved with the club, only with Jax." She scoffed and gave me a knowing look.  
"Same thing. Look, the love of my life, the father of my daughter, died for that club, that man and his kid, I don't want you to be a casualty." She told me and I nodded.  
"I'm careful Ash, you don't need to worry about me."  
"I know, you've always been the stronger of us even if you are younger." I frowned and shook my head but she didn't let me speak. "Yes you have been, I've been sick for a long time and even when we were young you knew it. You'd bring me up on my bad days and you'd make sure I took care of myself. You took care of me, so I'm asking you to help me take care of her." She looked at Madelyn and then at me. "Please."  
"You know that I will, that is what family does Ash. I promise that I will always be here for both of you." She nodded and Jax and Opie came in to look at the baby. Jax held her for a minute before he passed her to Opie.  
"Congrats mama." Jax said as he hugged her and she gave him a small smile. The day was a blur of people coming to visit the new SAMCRO baby and then before I knew it, morning had come and I could take them both home. The doctor told my sister to start taking her meds again and she said that she would, that is why Maddie was on formula from the start. Getting them settled wasn't as easy as I would have hoped but it wasn't that bad either. My sister was good with Maddie but I still helped her throughout the night and I had Gemma come during the day so that I could work part time still. After about three weeks Ash seemed better, her meds had kicked back in and she was getting back to her normal self. I was relieved and I hoped that it would stay that way, I knew that she missed Kip, I just didn't know how much, She wouldn't talk to me about it. I was at work a month later when I got a call from Opie, he told me to come home immediately, 'just come home honey' he demanded and I bolted from the club without a second thought. A part of me knew, knew what I was walking into and I prayed the whole drive home that I was wrong. I sped into the drive way and ran into the house, the ambulance was there and so was Jax, Gemma, and Opie. Gemma had the baby and she came over to me with tears in her eyes.  
"Where is she?" I demanded and she just looked down the hallway. I sprinted down the hall and saw the EMT's standing by my sister, she looked like she was sleeping. One reached out to block me but I shoved him away. "Don't touch me!" I shrieked as I gripped my sisters face in my hands. She was cold and pale and I shook her. I faintly heard Opie talking to the paramedics and then I was alone with her. Jax came in and handed me a sheet of paper then he left me alone again.  
  
_My dearest little sister,_  
_Please don't be angry at me, I did tell you that you were the stronger of the two of us. I am sorry that I have left you alone, but you aren't alone, you have my Madelyn to look after. There is a will on a sheet of paper in my dresser, everything is yours. It says that Maddie is yours too. I know that it is a lot to handle but if anyone can take care of her it is you. She will know you as her mother now and that is fine with me. Don't let her grow up like we did, let her know love and kindness and the joys of childhood, tell her about me when she is old enough to understand. About the mother that she would have had if I had been stronger. Tell her about her father and how he died for what he believed in and the he loved both of us more then anything. I am so sorry little sister, Y/N, I love you more than anything but my sadness and the grief that I feel is to overwhelming. I know that sounds selfish, but I want to be at peace, for once in my life I want peace and I want to be with Kip. I beg of you to be strong for the both of you now, fight for her and never stop knowing that I love both of you, I am always with you and I will be watching you. You'll know when I am near, you always knew when mom was near you and it will be the same for me. Remember me how I was when I was with him, my Kip. Happy and alive, don't remember the sad me, the lifeless and depressed me. Tell her about that me, the me that sang and that would play with you for hours, the me that I wish that I could be for her. She is yours now, and you are hers, when she goes to school, gets her heart broken for the first time, gets married, that is yours now and I know that you will be there for her like I never could be. I love you so much little sister. Know that my heart is filled with sorrow as I write this and that I wish I felt like I had another choice._   
_All my love to you both._  
I read my sister suicide note with tears pouring down my face, I gripped her hand and I screamed, I screamed my grief, rage, sadness and all the emotions in between and I cried. I cried for her, for me, for Kip, for Maddie and the loss that she wouldn't even know of until she was older. I wept and I felt arms around me, lifting me, and I looked up at Jax.  
"I can't leave her!" I cried and struggled in his grip, he almost dropped me but he wouldn't let me go.  
"She's gone honey." Opie told me in a soft voice and he ran his hand down my hair. The EMT's went back in with her and I knew that they were going to take her away. I gripped onto Jax as he set me on my feet, A few minutes later I heard the gurney rolling down the hallway and I followed them out the door. I couldn't walk any further though, I just watched as they tucked her into the ambulance and drove away. I watched them take my sister and I wept as my knees crumpled and I hit the ground, I buried my face in my knees and wept.


	2. Chapter 2

It has been a week since my sister took her own life, I was a mess and it showed. I couldn't sleep, I only ate when Gemma made me and the only thing that mattered was Maddie, even over myself. I was all she had left and that thought killed me even more then the fact that her mother left her alone. I was livid at my sister, and I grieved with the anger but it was better to be mad since the sad swallowed me whole. I was a robot and the only time I showed any flicker of emotion was when I was around the baby. Jax and I were growing apart but I couldn't bring myself to care, Opie was always there, eager to help me do or feel anything and if I slept it was usually curled against him on the couch. Today was the day of my sisters funeral and it was killing me to think of having to go watch them lower her into the ground, where she would be forever. The club offered to pay for it and I had no choice but to accept, I had a little money saved up but not enough to bury her. I promised that I would pay them back but they said that I didn't have to. I was sitting on my bed when I heard Maddie cry out, I shuffled down the hall and went to get her, I was alone for the first time since it all happened and I was a little relieved. I scooped up my niece and checked her diaper, she wasn't wet so she was hungry. I lugged her into the kitchen and made a bottle, I walked her outside onto the porch swing and I rocked her as she ate. I looked at her face and I saw my sister there and Kip, she would have his goofy smile.   
"It's just you and me now kid, I won't promise to be perfect because that would be a lie. But I'll never leave you or give you up." She looked at me as she chugged the bottle down and I smiled softly at her. "I think it'll be ok. It's what your mama wanted." I was still sitting and rocking her when Jax showed up.   
"You're not ready yet?"   
"No. I'll never be ready." I muttered but I stood up and went inside. He followed and waited for me in the living room while I got dressed and dressed Maddie. I wore a black dress, black flats and put my hair up. I didn't bother with make up, why should I? I grabbed the diaper bag and my purse and headed back into the living room. I loaded Maddie into the car and followed Jax to the cemetery. My throat was tight and I couldn't breathe as we walked over to the crowd of people. Opie stepped to the side and made room for me, Jax was on my other side and he nodded at the officiant to begin. I didn't hear a single word he said, I was too busy staring at the wooden box that contained my sister, the one person that I had always had. I felt my eyes well up and I couldn't stop the tears from flowing, the officiant asked if I had any words and I found that I did. I took Maddie with me and I stood in front of the coffin.  
  
"We all know why we are here, to say good bye to my sister Ashley Marie. She has never been strong, she wasn't weak but she fought all her life. She had bi-polar depression and it was hell every single day. As much as I hate when she did, I understand. I do, I know th-that she would want us all to remember her happy, to not condemn her for choosing peace for herself. I loved her more then anything or anyone and while I am so mad at her, I-I forgive her." I muttered and then I placed a hand on the coffin. "I forgive you Ash. I hope you're at peace with Kip." I walked back to stand by Jax and they started to lower her into the ground. Gemma announced that there was food and stuff at the club house but I didn't want to go. I hugged Gemma, thanked her for everything and she understood that I needed to be home. Opie asked if I needed him to come and I shook my head. Jax came with me, he left me alone pretty much until I went to bed, then he came and laid next to me. It wasn't warm like we used to be but it didn't matter, I was numb and I preferred it that way. I woke up when he told me he had to go the next morning. Maddie and I had a routine to get down, a life to live and that is what we would do.  
  
  
It had been about a month since I thought my world came crashing in on me. Things were getting to be ok, I had a routine for Maddie and I and I had a new job, I worked full time doing the books for TM and Cara Cara, Gemma let me do them from home so that I could be with Maddie. There was a family dinner of sorts at the club house tonight and Gemma wanted me to come, and bring the baby, I told her that we would come and she was so excited. I knew that life had to go on, even if I didn't want it to. I got dressed, put on some make up, left my hair curled down my back and I dressed Maddie in her pink and black SAMCRO outfit, with matching headband. I took a deep breath, unloaded Maddie and headed inside the club house, I was immediately passed from club member to club member for hugs and the baby was cooed over. Jax wasn't around though, Gemma said she didn't know where he was but I didn't believe her, she knew and I had a suspicion but I let it go. The guys all loved the baby, they wanted to hold her and she was really good about it, she didn't mind being surrounded by huge men and that made me smile. She had them wrapped around her finger. Opie stayed really close to me and I appreciated it, he knew that this was hard for me. We had just finished eating when Jax came in with a familiar face, they were holding hands and he paled when he saw me.   
"What are you doing here?" He asked me  
"Your mom invited me for dinner." I replied and I stared at their joined hands. "Tara, nice to see you again." She looked at the ground.  
"Nice to see you too, I heard abou-"  
"Can we talk outside Y/N?" Jax interrupted her and I nodded and stood up. Tara moved aside so that Jax and I could leave. He gripped me by the arm and turned me around to face him. "I didn't want you to find out like that."  
"Find out what? That you are cheating on me? Cheating with the one person that hurt you more than anything or anyone?" I asked him and he just sighed at me.   
"I love you, but you know things haven't been good for us in a while." I let out a laugh  
"My sister _died_ Jax! I'm sorry if that didn't make me want to fuck you every chance you wanted me to but I thought you understood." He frowned at me.   
"I do understand, I just thought that we were done, that you were over me, and then I ran into Tara and we clicked."  
"You clicked? Fucking good for you!" If we were done, maybe you should have told me, I could've been prepared to lose someone else that I loved." I told him in a cold voice and I turned away from him. "I'm not gonna do this, you want to be done? Fucking fine. I hope this doesn't bite you like it did last time." I walked a few steps away and he gripped my arm, I jerked away from him and glared. "Don't touch me, ever again. I don't care if I'm choking to death, don't touch me you son of a bitch."   
"This isn't all on me, you shut me out!" He yelled and I just shook my head at him.   
"I shut everyone but Madelyn out! I have no one but her left now and you fucking saw to that! Go fuck yourself Jax, this isn't on me! I blame you and your dick for it. I was coming to be with you, that's why I'm here, to spend some time with you because you were so _patient_ but I guess that was a mistake too huh?" He didn't say anything he just gave me a sad look and I shook my head. "Whatever, let me get Maddie and I'll be gone." I walked away and he let me go, I walked over and took Maddie from Opie, I grabbed the diaper bag and my purse and I kissed Gemma before I left. Opie followed me out and helped me into the car as Jax went inside.   
"Are you ok?" He asked me and I looked at him and shook my head. "You want me to come by later?" I shrugged and he nodded. "Get home safe huh?" I nodded and drove away from the club house. I changed Maddie's clothes and diaper, fed her and put her to bed. I never really drank but I felt the need so I pulled the bottle of rum out of the freezer and grabbed a shot glass out of the cabinet and went to the living room. I took a shot and went to my room to change ad grab the baby monitor so that I could hear if Maddie needed me. An hour and about five shots later there was a knock on my door, I opened it and saw Opie, he had a fast food bag in his hand and a backpack on his back.   
"Come on in." I told him and he stepped inside, I closed and locked the door as he put his stuff down. "You didn't have to come." I told him as I stumbled a little, he gripped my arm and chuckled.   
"I did so, I knew you'd want a burger and fries to go with your rum." He knew that getting drunk made me hungry. I needed this, I needed my best friend.   
"Thank you. I'm not going to make you choose a side though, Jax is your best friend and club member and that is fine." I told him and he put an arm over me.   
"Shut up, he's an asshole right now and you've always been my best friend." I smiled and leaned into him a little before he went to get plates and a shot glass of his own. He didn't get drunk though, he was there to take care of me, which included forcing aspirins and water into me before he poured me into bed. I didn't drink that much, I knew that Maddie would need me and she did a few hours later, I was making her bottle when Opie came into the kitchen with her.   
"You didn't have to get up, You don't have to help." I told him and he gave me a long look as he took the bottle from me.   
"I want to move in for a while."   
"What?"   
"I want to move in for a while, I need to." I looked at him and he was avoiding looking at me.   
"Need to?"  
"Please just let me stay in the guest room."   
"Ok." He looked at me and I nodded. "Ok, you can stay." I felt a small bubble of relief when he nodded at me, maybe I wasn't as alone as I felt. Maybe it wasn't just me and Maddie against the whole world. I knew that was a dangerous thought but I was going to be a little stupid and let it make me feel better for tonight. Once Maddie was back in bed, Opie and I hugged and went back to sleep ourselves. He was there when I woke up a few hours later too, I felt a small smile when I heard him in the kitchen banging around. He never could be quiet, but I found that there had been too much quiet in the house lately. I checked my phone and saw a few messaged from Gemma but I would talk to her later, I had a crying baby to feed and a best friend to make breakfast with. The rest could wait.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next few months Opie became a staple in mine and Madelyn's life, he was there when we woke up and he made sure that I was safe before I went to sleep, even if he had to leave on club business in the middle of the night. I was grateful for him, even if he didn't listen to me. He was insistent that he pay his half of everything and he even went grocery shopping with Maddie and I, Opie hated grocery shopping. Maddie was crawling now, she was seven months so that was on track. I was trying my best to be a good mother for her, even if I wasn't her biological mother. One of the hardest things we did was make Ash's room into a total baby room. I left some of her pictures up and a few of her stuffed animals, but we packed up the rest and put it in the garage. I knew that when the time came, I would tell her all about her mother but until then I was her mama and that was what I had to be. Yesterday I had a some pictures developed and I hung one of Ope, Maddie and I at the park in the living room, we were a weird family but family none the less.  
Opie was cooking when Maddie and I got back from her check up, he was in jeans and a t-shirt with his usual beanie. "Hey how'd it go?" He asked when we walked into the kitchen.  
"It was good, she doesn't need to have any shots until next time and she is on her way to walking." I told him as he went over to hug him, he gave each of us a kiss on the head and then turned back to the stove.   
"I'll come with you for the shots, you both get weepy when that happens." I gave him a look and smacked his ass since his hands were busy. He chuckled and raised a brow at me.   
"We don't get weepy! Shots hurt and when she gets poked I just feel bad." He laughed and started to dish up dinner. We talked and played with Maddie after dinner, then it was time for her bath and bed. I curled against Opie on the couch and we were watching a movie when the doorbell rang.   
"I'll get it." Opie said as he stood up. I saw Jax standing there when the door opened and I recognized that look on his face, surprise, anger, and something akin to disgust. "Jax."  
"Ope, what are you doing here?"  
"Hanging out with my girls, what are you doing here?"  
"My mom wanted me to come check on Maddie, she hasn't seen her in a while." He said in a low voice.   
"Maddie is fine, she's sleeping now." He said as he leaned against the door jam, crossing his arms over his chest, blocking my view.   
"Where's Y/N?"   
"Uh shower I think, I'm not sure, that's where I left her." I gaped at him and had to stifle a laugh.  
"What? Great. I'll tell mom that she is well taken care of." He said through gritted teeth.  
"Great." Opie said as he closed the door. He turned to look at me and I gaped at him.  
"What the hell was that?" I asked him and he gave me a sheepish look.   
"He didn't show up for his mom, you and I both know that if Gemma was worried she would be here."   
"I know, I've been avoiding him so well. Thanks for the assist."   
"Anytime." He sat back down and we restarted to movie like nothing had ever happened. He put his arm around me and tugged me to his side, I leaned my head on his chest and it felt like the most normal thing in the world. Something shifted that night between us, but neither of us were going to acknowledge it yet.  
I avoided Jax like the plague, if I had to go to TM, Opie would take him out for a while so that I could be with Gemma, or Gemma would come to me. It was working great. Opie had insisted that I get out of the house for a while without Maddie, so we left the baby with Gemma and we went out to lunch. He took me on his bike to the diner down the road and then we went and walked around the farmers market for a little while. I had started to gain some feelings for Opie and I was trying to ignore them, I didn't want to ruin the friendship that we had always had. I was thinking that maybe I needed to go out on a date or something, to get my head on right. We had just pulled into the TM parking lot when a bunch of other Sons pulled in around us, at least three other charters if I read their kuttes right. SAMTAZ, SAMDINO, Indian Hills, and a few nomads. I looked at Opie and he was grinning at me.   
"What's going on?" I asked him and he shrugged.   
"No idea, lets go find out." He said and he gripped my hand and tugged me towards the office of TM. Gemma met us at the door and handed me Maddie.   
"Hi baby girl" I kissed Maddie and then looked at Gemma "How was she? What's with the new guys?"   
"She was good, they were passing through. Club party tonight." I nodded and looked at Opie, he still has his hand in mine and Gemma noticed it with a smile. "Are you coming to the party?" She asked me and I shook my head.   
"No, I think I'll head home." I told her and Opie frowned.   
"You can come. I want you to be there." He told me and I just shrugged at him.   
"You can go, I think that Jax would want to have you there, not me."   
"I want you there Y/N and Maddie. Please?" I nodded and he smiled at me.   
"I have some baby stuff for Maddie in the club house." Gemma told me with a smile and I shook my head at her. Opie went to greet the guys and I stayed with Gemma for a while. We talked about Maddie, and about living with Opie, made plans for a play date with Maddie and Abel which I was so not going to go to. Opie came and got me after a while and tugged us over to the club house. I was over whelmed, I hadn't really been around that many people in a long time and Opie knew it. He took my hand in his and made sure to stay close to me and Maddie. She was awake and looking around as we wandered around, talking to people. Jax was in the corner with Tara and he hadn't noticed us yet, thankfully. I was talking with Chibs when a member of SAMDINO came over to talk to me. Chibs patted my back and walked over to Gemma.  
"I haven't seen you around here before." I smiled at him and nodded.   
"Haven't been here before have you?" I asked him and he grinned   
"Not lately. I'm Yates."  
"Y/N." He looked at the bundle in my arms and I smiled. "Madelyn Epps." He furrowed his brow  
"Half-Sacks daughter? You were his old lady?" I shook my head as Opie came over and put his arm around me and I leaned into him.  
"Her sister was his girl, Yates, how are you?"   
"Opie, I was getting to know sweet Y/N here." He said with a smile at me and I felt Opie stiffen.   
"Uh Ope can you show me where I can put Maddie down at?" I looked up at him and smiled when he looked at me.   
"Sure thing honey." I nudged me away from Yates and led me down the hallway. He closed the door to the room he had led me too and turned to look at me. "What was that?"   
"What was what?"   
"Were you flirting with him?"   
"No, he came up to me and started talking to me Opie." I tilted my head at him after I set Maddie in the crib. "Why? Would that be so bad?"   
"Yes! I mean, no not really. I- I don't know." He said and I walked over to him.   
"What's going on?" I asked him and he just looked at me before there was a knock on the door. The moment broke and I turned away from him to get the door. I grimaced when I saw who it was. "What?"   
"That's not very nice." Jax replied and I glared at him. "I came to fine Opie."   
"He's right there." I replied and pointed to him. "Keep it down, Madelyn is sleeping." I replied and I pushed past him. He gripped my arm and turned me to face him just outside the door.   
"We need to talk."   
"About what?"   
"Are you sleeping with Opie?" He asked me and I grimaced.   
"What the fuck does that matter?" I asked as I pushed him away from me, he gave me a dark look and stepped closer to me.   
"It matters! I want to know."  
"No I haven't slept with him and keep your fucking voice down, Maddie will hear you. You don't get to ask me shit like that anymore Jax!" I was livid and so was he but that didn't matter to me.   
"You haven't fucked him?" He demanded  
"Not yet." Opie spoke from behind me and I closed my eyes with a small smile.   
"Not yet?" I asked him and he nodded at me.   
"We'll get there." He said and took my hand and led me away from Jax. I followed behind him and we ended up at the pool table with Chibs and some other guys. Chibs tagged me into the game, he knew that I used to be a ringer when I was younger and I knew that is what he wanted of me. We won two games before they caught on. I felt Opie and Jax watching me but I ignored Jax and looked up at Opie, he smiled and I sent him a wink. I heard Maddie crying on the monitor and I waved it at Opie, he nodded and I went to fetch her. She needed food and a change and by the time I was done with that Opie was standing at the kitchen door smiling at me.   
"Are you ready to go home?"   
"Yeah, if you are." I nodded and he swung the diaper bag over his shoulder. I smiled at him and he took my hand as we said out goodbyes. He was quiet once we got home so I asked him about it. "Are you ok?" He nodded and then looked at me for a long minute.   
"Can I take you out?"   
"What?"   
"On a date, would you want to do that?" He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.   
"Y-yeah, I'd like that. A lot."   
"Yeah?"   
"Of course." I smiled and he gave me one back.   
"Great. Uh tomorrow night then?" I nodded and his phone rang.   
"I'm gonna go put her down for the night." I mouthed at him and he nodded as he talked. I changed Maddie and sang her to sleep, Opie was walking out of his room when I came out of Maddie's.   
"I have to go out for a while, will you two be ok?"   
"Yeah, be safe huh? We do have a date after all." I told him and he chuckled as he kissed my cheek.   
"I'm always safe baby." He replied and I just shook my head at him as he walked out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

"Always safe huh?"  
"Shit! Ow! W-what are you doing up?" Opie asked me as he stood up and rubbed his head. I woke up and heard him rummaging under the bathroom sink so I went to check on him. He had a large gash on his arm and another small one on his neck.  
"I heard a bear rummaging in my bathroom and thought 'I could use a new coat'." I told his with a raised brow  
"Ha ha funny."  
"Move over." I shooed him and got the first aid kit for him, I tugged him into his room and sat him on his bed.  
"I can do this, you go back to bed. I just couldn't find the-" He broke off with a hiss after I pressed an alcohol swab to the cut on his arm.  
"Let me help you, your stitches are never straight." He nodded and I rolled his shirt sleeve up to check the wound. It wasn't very deep, just long and jagged looking. "What happened?" I asked him and he sighed.  
"Do you want the long story or the short?"  
"Cliff notes."  
"A truck blew up and I was standing to close, got hit with some of the metal I guess." I stared at him for a long minute before I started stitching the wound. It went by fast and then I cleaned the wound again before I covered it with a bandage. I put my hands on his face and tilted it so that I could get to his neck, it wasn't deep, just a flesh wound so I cleaned it and put a bandage over it. I realized that I had my hand on his neck still and that I was standing in between his legs.  
"All done." I muttered and I went to back away from him but he held my hand against his neck and looked up at me.  
"Thank you." I smiled softly and nodded at him.  
"I'd say anytime, but I don't want you to come home hurt." He smiled and nodded. We stared for a minute before he stood up and put his hands on my face, he leaned down and kissed me. It felt right, normal, there was some heat to it and I put my hands on his arms to steady myself. He pulled away first and we shared a smile.  
"I thought you were going to slap me." He said and I laughed.  
"I wanted it as much as you did."  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah. Uh I should let you get changed and cleaned up."  
"Stay? Sleep in here with me." He asked me and I nodded.  
"Ok." He nodded and grabbed some clothes before he went to take a shower. I went and grabbed the baby monitor from my room, and I headed back to his room. I knew that he liked the right side so I sprawled out on the left side and got comfortable. I don't remember falling asleep but I know when he came back because he tugged me against him. I smiled and curled against him as we both fell asleep.  
  
Opie and I were in a new place relationship wise, after the night I stayed with him a few months ago it became a frequent thing, every night he was home. He would kiss me and hold my hand but we didn't call it anything and we never really talked about it. Maddie was fifteen months old now and she was walking like a champ. It was a normal day for us, Opie had taken my car to get the breaks and oil changed, I was wearing a pair of short shorts and one of Opie's shirts, my hair was still wet from my shower and I was playing with Maddie when the door bell rang. I went to get it and saw that it was Clay, the president of the club.  
"Uh hi Clay. What's up?" I asked him when he didn't say anything.  
"Is Opie here?" He asked me while looking at my outfit and I shook my head at him.  
"No, he isn't here."  
"She got big, how old is she now?" He ignored my comment and stepped towards me. I backed up and Maddie buried her face in my hair.  
"Almost one. Opie's not here, I can call him and see where he is though?"  
"Is he living here?"  
"Yeah, we've been living together for months now. He moved in to keep an eye on things after Jax and I split." He frowned  
"Are you together?"  
"That's not really your business Clay, no offense."  
"Yes it is, he is in my club."  
" _My_ relationships aren't club business anymore!"  
"You'll always be club business Y/N, _family_ and so is that little baby girl there. There is some tension between Jax and Ope and you're the cause of it, it's making club dynamics a little hard.  
"Your son wanted me to move on, that's what I am doing. I am moving on, with my best friend, the one man who has always been there for me, even when the man I was in love with wasn't. Don't you dare come here and act like he is a possession of the club, like you have any claim to him when we both know that he is perfectly capable of making his own choices."  
"It's good that you're moving on darlin', but really with Jax's best friend, his brother?"  
"He is my best friend too, the one that kept me going when Jax cheated on me and then left, he is all I had!"  
"Do you love him?" He waited and then spoke again. "It doesn't matter. You need to stop playing with them, end it with Opie and get things back to the way they were." I opened my mouth the reply when another voice broke in.  
"What's going on?" Opie asked from behind Clay and we both looked at him. I smiled at him and Clay turned around to face him.  
"Just talking. Had something to discuss with Y/N here." I set Maddie in her play pen and turned to look at the two men.  
"You sure? Telling her to dump me and get things back to normal is not really your place is it." Opie said as he stepped around him to stand next to me.  
"Look, this girl is getting in between you and Jax and that has never happened before. It needs to stop."  
"If Jax has a problem, then he needs to talk to me about it. I appreciate the concern but I am not ending anything and neither is she Clay." Clay looked between the two of us, Opie took my hand and Clay just nodded before he walked away.  
"Mama" Opie and I both turned to look at Maddie, she raised her arms and looked at me. "Mama." She said again and I put a hand over my mouth. Opie put his arm around me and nudged me towards her.  
"I know it hurts but you are mama to her, and she wants you to hold her." I nodded and walked over to her with tears in my eyes.  
"Hey baby girl, I'm here." She nuzzled against me and looked up at me with her big blue eye.  
"Mama" I looked at Opie and he smiled at me  
"Don't feel bad, You'll tell her about Ash when she is old enough to understand baby."  
"I know, I just have never been a mama before, what happens if I screw her up Opie?" He laughed and kissed my head.  
"You wont. You love her and will do whatever you can to make sure she is taken care of. That is what a good parent does, and you have been her mama, from the moment you started taking care of her on your own. She's walking and talking now, she knows her mama and soon enough she will be the most brilliant baby in all of Charming." I smiled and leaned up to kiss him.  
"Thank you. You always know what to say to make me fell better and you always have. I really don't know what I would do without you."  
"You don't have to find out, I'm not leaving you, I love you." I felt my heart skip a beat and I looked up at him with wide eyes.  
"You what?"  
"I love you." We'd only been doing this thing for about three months now but I knew what I felt.  
"I-I love you too Ope." He grinned at me and gave me another kiss.  
"Do you want to be my old lady?"  
"That's a big step, are you sure? I mean I have Maddie so its a really big package deal, plus you know me better than anyone, and I really-" He put a hand over my mouth and chuckled.  
"Stop rambling. I know you inside and out and I know that I love both you and Maddie, I want both of you." I nodded and he nodded back at me. "So what's your answer?"  
"Yes." He scooped me up, Maddie included since I was holding her and he spun us around as he laughed.  
"I love you so fucking much."  
"I love you too, stop spinning me around!" I laughed at him and he set me down. His phone started to ring and he answered it.  
"I have to go for a while, we will celebrate when I get back?"  
"Of course. Be safe."  
  
Six Months Later  
  
"Mama!" Maddie cried out as I walked into the house, I had a doctors appointment so Opie had taken the morning off. I walked into the kitchen to see him covered in peanut butter and I let out a laugh.  
"What happened in here?"  
"She wanted a sandwich and I thought it would be fun to let her help me." He said as she put a peanut butter hand print on his face. I chuckled and nodded at him. "How was your appointment?" I gave him a grin and nodded.  
"It was good, just a check up." He nodded and turned back to cleaning up the mess.  
"Dada down!" Maddie shouted at him and he froze for a minute before he looked at me. I smiled at him and let out a laugh.  
"I think she wants down Dada."  
"Is that ok?" He looked scared for a second until I walked over to him.  
"You have been here just like I have, taking care of her and you love her, Why wouldn't it be ok?" I asked him  
"Half - Sack was her dad, I didn't know if you would want her calling me that?"  
"We can tell her about him when we tell her about Ashley. Together." He nodded and set Maddie down so she could run over to me. I hugged her close and lugged her off for a bath, she was covered in peanut butter. We had to go to the club house for family dinner and I knew that it was going to be interesting. Jax and Opie had talked it out and while he didn't like it, he understood that he had screwed up. He understood that I was not his any more and that I love Opie, that I was his old lady, I even had Happy give me his crow. I loved him and I felt like I was meant to be with him, he was kind and sweet to me and he loved us more than anything, which is exactly what we need. Opie was going to lose his mind when he found out that I was pregnant, he had always wanted a big family after all. I felt my sister around me a lot, she was watching over Maddie and I and I was doing the best that I could to make her proud. I knew that she would be happy that I had found someone to be with and I felt at peace for the first time in a long time. I wasn't alone and I never would be.


End file.
